Better to remove the temptation before you cause incurable damage. It's Deliberate Deliberate flirt-texting is usually done for one of two reasons: If you're looking for love elsewhere, taking time out to reappraise your relationship is the only kind thing to do. Salvaging a troubled relationship is tough; saving one that has suffered the stigma of an affair is tougher still -- and you'll never manage it while your emotions are invested elsewhere. Flirt-texting to provoke a reaction is cruel. Perhaps you feel that your spouse doesn't find you attractive anymore or pay you enough attention.
Having someone else tell you that you're sexy, smart and funny can make your partner sit up and take notice. But it's also manipulative. Your partner will likely feel used and you'll struggle to regain the power you've lost in your relationship once you've strayed. There are healthier ways to validate your self-esteem without undermining the years of trust you've established with your spouse or partner.
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Establish healthy boundaries for your relationship. If you have the desire to flirt text for attention and to boost your ego, try sending a sexy text to them -- you may just re-ignite a fire in your relationship. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Dean Belcher via Getty Images. Less emotional investment in the relationship, increasing emotional distance from the partner and waning physical intimacy are all signs that the flirting is taking on the colors of cheating even though there may be no physical dimension to the affair.
Running down a partner Sharing intimate details about a marriage or a spouse, and especially in a discourteous manner or with a flip attitude is another clue that text messaging flirting is no longer harmless but is taking on the shades of an affair. Around this time the person may also feel a need to rationalize.
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Emotional investment Above all, if text messaging with another is meeting the emotional needs of a person, then it has definitely gone beyond casual conversation or playful banter into the sphere of a relationship. Flirting is generally not seen as dangerous as cheating.
But when spatial distances are easily bridged by Skyping and chatting, affairs can be possible even without any physical connection. And while the lack of sexual component may make such an affair appear less a threat, the effects can be equally damaging to a committed relationship. Skip to main content. We text because the world we live in says text messaging with others, including the opposite sex, is perfectly acceptable communication. Unfortunately, there is a false sense of security that exists in cell-phone text messaging with the opposite sex: It almost always feels as though the words sent and received in a text will not venture into dangerous open waters.
The reality is a text message is open water. There is no shallow end to stand on or wall to grab onto. What is sent and received in a text-based world can easily trigger our deepest, darkest feelings and desires, surfacing them in a conversation that began harmlessly. Too often in text messaging, particularly with the opposite sex, insignificant words are sent that are either consciously or unconsciously linked to more significant emotional or sexual roots in the heart; roots that are intended to remain deeply rooted in a marriage instead outside of it, to prevent emotional or sexual detachment from a spouse.
These Are The Signs Your Spouse Is Having A Texting Affair
Most often texting was innocent in nature ; infidelity wasn't in sight. Men and women were designed physically and emotionally to have sex and talk about deep feelings.
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Many married men and married women text the opposite sex innocently without ever falling into this trap. There are many who respect their spouses completely, stewarding well their texts, never venturing into discussing feelings or sex with the opposite sex in a text. But the research is thorough and sound.
I think the slope is too slippery to ignore; many individuals walk text-message communication like a tightrope, sometimes without even knowing it.
An extensive body of ever-growing research supports that social media and digital media texting is associated with violations of fidelity and decreased relationship satisfaction. Marital relationships experiencing one spouse communicating emotionally or sexually with the opposite sex through text report feeling the exact same feelings as those spouses whose spouse committed a face-to-face extramarital sexual affair not beginning through text or social media.
These feelings are betrayal, rejection, abandonment, loneliness , jealousy , humiliation , loss of trust, and anger. Most alarmingly, the large majority of extramarital affairs beginning through social and digital media end in divorce. As social and digital media communication grows and evolves, so do the opportunities for those who are married to commit extramarital affairs.
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Text messaging itself is not the culprit. The culprit is the heart of the person text messaging. It can be argued, and I would agree, that each communication medium in history has had its own potential relationship perils. This medium, however, is consuming, maintaining, and altering the human mind to such a hyper degree.
It's affecting marital relationships so drastically that we cannot not discuss it.
In the workplace, professional flirting can oil the wheels of industry -- no harm, no foul. After all, no one knows your marriage or your spouse better than you do. What Counts as Cheating? But if I were to ask if you regularly texted with the opposite sex, the answer may not be the same. Having someone else tell you that you're sexy, smart and funny can make your partner sit up and take notice. Sexting and infidelity in cyberspace.
Safeguarding your marriage against infidelity should extend beyond the bedroom. If we look at the progression of an extramarital sexual affair on a horizontal, chronologically ordered line, we can map out the development of an extramarital affair, whether conscious or unconscious , according to strategic steps.
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